Bureaucracy!

(from the archive, September 2007)

What would Germany be without a little bureaucracy now and again? Alright, I love living here in Berlin but you can't imagine the level of bureaucracy that exists here. One can spend an entire day sorting out bureaucratic things.

 For example, in order to get my Internet username/password at my new Uni, so I can register for some courses, I need to go to my old university to 'Check out' (and of course, never forget the piece of paper that confirms everything), then go to another office at the Uni, get another piece of paper that should in principle be printable right there, but I have to wait 14 days for it, just for them to tell me I've written one exam that isn't relevant to my new Bachelor degree, then go across town to the Health Insurance office, so that they can make an 'official' copy of my passport, and then give me yet another piece of paper that says 'Yes, I pay health insurance and it's up to date', then take all of these things again across town to my new Uni to say - here it is, and for them to say "Gut. Danke. Please wait 14 days to get a piece of paper that says username: sauerkraut1979, password: nevereasyisit" By this time, most of the courses will have been signed up for, possibly booked up, leaving me taking all the boring courses that start at 8am, just because nobody told me (or wrote me) that these things are all important so to get this username/password crap. So now I'm scrambling, last minute, to get all this junk done. Even though I've paid my student fees, which is really the important part. Why would I pay fees if I didn't intend to study there...?

 Maybe Germans should just go back to their old system from 60 years ago where they just tattooed a number on your arm.

 Another interesting fact about German bureaucracy - did you know that Berlin has over 400,000 trees in it? AND, did you know that each one of these trees is accounted for in some government office? The trees in Berlin have number tags on them. Not joking. If I called the Fire Dept. and said "Tree number 243,576 is on fire." They would likely not need any directions, since the tree is already in some database somewhere. "Oh right, we know exactly where that is. Poor old tree, he's lived a good long life, etc. Did you know that tree's been there since 1951? It was planted by a Herr Forstmaier, and reportedly no abnormal conditions surrounding the treeplanting, and so on..." Anyway, it's at least something Germans will joke about as well, so at least you get some sympathy, but it's actually mostly laughing (you poor bastard you).